


Living Her Best Life AKA How Vanessa Woodfield Earned Her Toaster Oven

by authorette



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F, I’ve gone down the Vanity Rabbit Hole, Lots of Sex, Vanessa is adorable, Vanity Fest, Vanity Fest 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-29 02:33:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16254908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/authorette/pseuds/authorette
Summary: The story of how Vanessa Woodfield spreads her rainbow wings and falls in love.





	Living Her Best Life AKA How Vanessa Woodfield Earned Her Toaster Oven

**Author's Note:**

> 1) I only got found out about Vanity about three weeks ago (I know, where have I been). I have frantically caught up on YouTube and have been loving all the great Vanity Fest contributions. I usually take ages to write anything but this kind of poured out of me and even though it doesn’t fit neatly into one of the Vanity Fest categories I thought I’d post this week anyway.  
> 2) I still don’t actually watch Emmerdale so sorry for any glaring errors! I’m still not sure how all the Dingles are related...  
> 3) CW: lots of explicit sex throughout (genuinely, this was supposed to be Vanessa exploring her sexuality and ended up being mostly Vanity exploring each other sexually), some internalised homophobia, allusions to sexual abuse  
> 4) Comments are always welcome! :)

_This is a really, really bad idea_ , Vanessa thinks as she follows Charity up the stairs. _Monumentally stupid._

Charity turns around as she reaches the landing and gives her a little wink, and Vanessa gulps.

This should not be happening. When she woke up this morning, she decided that she would put this out of her mind. That this would never happen again. A fluke. A one off.

 _Except it’s not a one off, is it?_ says that little voice inside her head, the one she’s tried to shut off since she was fourteen and playing spin the bottle at Mary Wilcox’s party and she had her first kiss with Mary and it had made her heart thump in her chest.

 _I’m not gay_ , she repeats for the millionth time that day. I’m just curious. _I just need to get it out of my system._

Except…

“Come here,” Charity husks as Vanessa steps onto the landing, pulling gently on her jumper and gives her a slow, thorough kiss.

The voice in Vanessa’s head abruptly shuts off. There’s a rushing in her ear, like the world is drowned out and all she can hear-see-feel is Charity, whose hand is on the back of her head and is slowly working her hair tie out, letting down Vanessa’s ponytail while she kisses her.

Vanessa reaches out and tangles her fingers in Charity’s curls, slightly crisp with hairspray. In response, Charity pulls her even closer, and now they’re flush together, chest to chest.

“Come inside,” Charity whispers against her mouth, and tugs her gently into the bedroom behind her. 

The moment the door closes, Charity gently pushes Vanessa against it and kisses her again, this time with more urgency. At the same time, she slowly tugs up Vanessa’s jumper, raking her nails over the skin of her stomach. Vanessa gasps into the kiss, barely suppressing a shiver. Charity chuckles against her mouth before pulling away and tugging the jumper over Vanessa’s head.

Vanessa doesn’t even have time to be shy, or self conscious about the lines of silvery stretch marks on her stomach, because Charity is back on her, kissing her softly just below the ear, and Vanessa arches into her and slips her arms around Charity’s back and up under the back of her shirt.

Charity’s skin is warm and smooth, and Vanessa realises in that moment that this is happening. She is going to have sex with a woman. She is going to have sex with Charity Dingle. 

She’s never wanted someone as much as she wants Charity right now. 

She feels Charity reach around her back to undo her bra and she arches up to give her room to work. When Charity pulls back, taking the bra with her, Vanessa’s mouth goes dry when she sees the slack expression on Charity’s face. Her eyes are dark with want and her hands are warm and eager as she gently cups Vanessa’s boobs. 

_Charity wants this too_. And ok, it’s probably not in the same gut wrenching way Vanessa does. Charity probably hasn’t spent night upon night thinking about what it would be like with a woman. She probably didn’t have an obsessive crush on her best friend, or fantasise about women while her previous boyfriend went down in her. Charity is clearly the kind of person who goes for what she wants, and doesn’t just settle for desperate fantasies. 

But she can tell Charity is into this, from the little noises she’s making in the back of her throat as Vanessa pushes up her top, and the way she hisses “Ness…” when Vanessa softly runs the palm of her hand over the satin cup of Charity’s bra.

They kiss again, and this one is more like the one last night, when Charity pressed her into the side of the sofa, half straddling her, and kissed her so deeply that she felt every flick of her tongue as if it was between her legs. 

As they kiss, wet and a little messy, Charity tugs them towards the bed and stops when her legs bump against the side.

Vanessa holds her breath as Charity pops the button on her jeans. She can already tell she’s embarrassingly wet from a few kisses and a grope against the door. 

“Take this off,” Charity instructs, tugging at Vanessa’s jeans.

“You too,” Vanessa replies, ripping at Charity’s belt. She hardly recognised her own voice, which is low and thick with desire.

They make quick work of their jeans and Charity reaches around and unhooks her own bra before Vanessa can protest and throws it to the side.

And then they’re tumbling onto Charity’s soft sheets. Charity is kissing her again, so deep she can feel it all over, and her almost-naked weight on Vanessa is making her brain stutter.

Charity clearly intends to take the lead, and Vanessa is in no state to argue, but she’s also determined not to be just some conquest to Charity; she’s not going to give Charity the satisfaction of making her feel like this and not give anything in return.

So when Charity reaches down and gently takes one of Vanessa’s nipples in her mouth, Vanessa experimentally drags her short nails along Charity’s back.

Charity shivers and scrapes down gently with her teeth. And when Charity sits up to tug Vanessa’s pants down and off her legs, Vanessa successfully distracts her for a few minutes by reaching up and cupping her breasts, biting her lip at the feeling of Charity’s nipples pebbling against her palms.

“Jesus, Ness,” Charity sighs, arching into her hands for a moment before grinning down and her and finally removing her own and Vanessa’s underwear for good.

Vanessa tries to take it all in; Charity is beautiful, her soft pink nipples hard and pebbles, a neat little line of blonde hair between her legs, and the soft, silvery stretch marks that mirror those on Vanessa’s own stomach.

But she doesn’t get the chance to stare. Charity is back on top of her, running her hand down Vanessa’s front and smirking at the way it makes her tremble.

“Ready for your hangover cure?” she husks, and then dips her fingers between Vanessa’s legs.

“Oh,” Vanessa sighs, arching up despite herself. 

Charity runs her finger down Vanessa’s whole length and dips almost-almost inside, swirling around in the wetness she finds there before dragging it up towards Vanessa’s clit.

“Oww!” Vanessa suddenly flinches away, as something nips at her.

“What’s wrong?” Charity stops immediately.

“Your nail,” Vanessa gasps. “It’s ok, it just got me at the wrong angle.” She almost says please don’t stop, but she doesn’t want to sound too needy.

Charity pulls her hand away and examines her long nails. “Sorry, babe,” she says contritely, and it’s oddly the most sincere apology Vanessa has ever witnessed Charity give.

“It’s ok,” Vanessa says quickly, thrusting up a little. “It’s fine.”

Charity reaches across her to the beside table and opens the drawer. “Hang on.” She takes out nail clippers and makes short work of her carefully manicured nails. “All better.” She chucks the clippers back in the drawer and moves her hand back down, hesitating just above Vanessa. “You ok?” 

“Mmmh hmmm. Please keep going,” Vanessa whispers, giving up on maintaining her dignity. She’s so turned on she feels like she’s on fire.

Charity smirks that infuriating, sexy smirk again and then thrusts her hand back into Vanessa’s wetness.

“Oh god, _Charity_.” 

Charity swirls her fingers around Vanessa’s clit until she’s trembling all over, works her up and up, speeding up until Vanessa’s breaths come out in short, frantic gasps. 

And then Charity slips one finger down and inside her, slow and gently, in contrast to her firm, fast pace on Vanessa’s clit.

Vanessa is so close. She knows Charity can tell, because she’s got that infuriating little smirk on her face, but she’s not teasing – she works Vanessa’s clit like it’s an instrument and she’s a maestro.

But there’s something holding her back. Vanessa tries to relax, but it’s like her brain has suddenly decided to switch back on. 

_I can’t believe Charity Dingle is fucking me. I can’t believe how good it feels. Maybe I am gay? What does this mean? Have I just been lying to myself?_

“Hey,” Charity husks in her ear, bending down close and kissing Vanessa’s earlobe. It makes Vanessa shiver all over. “Stay with me.” She flicks her fingers slowly Vanessa’s swollen clit and Vanessa lets out a desperate little moan. “It’s ok. Just let go. I’ve got you, Ness. It’s ok.”

And it’s like Charity has pulled her back into the present, where the only things that matter are the hot kisses on her neck and the hand working it’s magic between her legs, and Vanessa gasps and grips Charity’s shoulders and comes so hard that her vision blurs slightly.

“That’s it,” Charity purrs, softening her touch while she works her through it. “That’s it. Just let go.”

Vanessa can hardly catch her breath. She’s never come like that, from her head to the very tips of her fingers, toe curling and so intense that she’s still trembling and can’t seem to get herself under control. “Jesus,” she gasps, wiping one hand across her sweaty forehead.

“See,” Charity gloats. “Bet your hangover is all gone.” Vanessa makes eye contact with her, and something in Vanessa’s face makes Charity’s expression soften. “Did I hurt your earlier? With my nail?” 

Vanessa shakes her head. “I’m fine.”

She’s not really sure if that’s true, though. Now that the tremors are subsiding, the panic is starting to set in. What has she done? What has she let Charity do? This isn’t her. Vanessa Woodfield is not the kind of woman who sleeps with other women who she barely knows.

“Are you ok?” Charity starts to ask, looking a little alarm at whatever is in Vanessa’s face, and to shut up the voices in her head and Charity for good measure, Vanessa surges up and catches Charity in a searing, sloppy, open mouthed kiss.

Charity melts into the kiss, sighing, and Vanessa realises with a sharp thrill that the wetness she can feel against her thigh is Charity’s.

Before she can overthink this, Vanessa reaches out and cups Charity between her legs. Charity moans into their kiss, and spreads her legs a little wider. Vanessa gulps and takes this as encouragement.

It’s both similar and not to touching herself. The angle is different, and Charity seems to like it a little harder, judging by the sounds she makes when Vanessa accidentally presses down firmly as she finds her clit.

_Don’t think._

She looks up at Charity to gage her reaction as she flattens her finger tips and begins to rub her firmly in small circles over clit. 

Charity’s eyes go wide and then they flutter closed as her head falls back. “Yessss,” she hisses. “Yes, like that.”

Vanessa keeps going. What she really wants to do is slide her fingers back and into Charity, but there isn’t enough room to manoeuvre and her wrist is already starting to seize at the angle. 

Before Vanessa can adjust them, however, Charity tenses and starts to tremble. 

“Harder,” she groans. “Yes, Ness. Right there. Oh, yes, yes, _yes_!” 

And then she’s coming, head thrown back and grasping Vanessa’s wrist to hold it still as she grinds herself against her fingertips through her orgasm. 

Vanessa can’t stop looking at her. She’s absolutely stunning. She has never seen anything as erotic as Charity in this moment, her face lit softly by the autumn sunset falling through the window, her face slack with pleasure.

She can feel the flutters against her fingers and wishes she was inside Charity, to feel her pulse around her fingers. She’s disappointed; she had just got over nerves and now it’s over.

But when she tries to draw back her hand, Charity tugs it back. “Don’t stop,” she orders, and Vanessa smiles and slides back against her. 

But she still hasn’t got much room to move, and even though Charity is moving above her, clearly lost in the feeling, Vanessa suddenly very much wants to take control. She slides her hand back out again and as Charity’s eyes flutter open, Vanessa gently pushes her onto her back and straddles her thigh, pushing her legs open.

“My, my, Dr Woodfield,” Charity murmurs. “Are you trying to top me?”  
Vanessa glares down at her. “Who said anything about trying?” To prove her point, Vanessa cups Charity’s heat gently, and then firmly slides one of her fingers inside.

Charity gasps but Vanessa almost misses it as she lets out a little moan herself. It’s fascinating; every twitch of her finger is mirrored by a sigh from Charity. She slides in further and curls her finger just a little and Charity’s hips almost fly off the bed.

“Good?” Vanessa smirks, and Charity narrows her eyes and suddenly Vanessa’s rhythm stumbles as Charity’s hand winds itself back between Vanessa’s legs and begins rubbing her wetness.

Vanessa kisses her firmly, nipping her lip to show she accepts the challenge, and then slides another finger inside. She’s got the advantage of being on top, and she’s going to use it.

It’s hard to ignore Charity’s long fingers, and after a moment Vanessa realises she’s actually using her right hand which is pretty impressive, but this is Vanessa’s show and she’s not giving up her slot no matter how much she just wants to sink onto Charity’s fingers.

She leans down and takes one of Charity’s nipples in her mouth, and flicks her tongue gently over it in time to her fingers slowly thrusting into her. 

Charity pants and her fingers stutter. It still feels good, but she’s lost the coordinated rhythm that was making Vanessa lose her head. 

With a savage kind of pleasure, Vanessa drives her fingers in a little firmer, a little faster, and enjoys the strained little gasps that follow in response. 

“Ness,” Charity cries.

Vanessa flicks Charity’s clit once and then slips back down and keeps up the deep, form rhythm that Charity echoes with her hips.

She can feel the tremors starting; Charity starts to tremble and tense, and then suddenly Vanessa feels as if the air has been sucked out of her lungs as Charity takes her free hand from where it was clenched on Vanessa’s back and slides it between her own legs and grinds down as she clenches hard around Vanessa’s fingers.

Charity’s fingers have all but frozen between Vanessa’s legs but Vanessa still feels a throb as she makes Charity come. It goes on for a long time, the flutters and Charity’s answering sighs, and when she comes down and Vanessa slides her fingers out as gently as possible, Charity hisses a little.

“Did I hurt you?” Vanessa whispers, feeling suddenly shy.

Charity shakes her head, trying to catch her breath. “You are very good at that,” she says, and gives Vanessa a small, genuine smile.

Although she feels a little silly, the compliment makes Vanessa smile widely and before she can smother the impulse she leans down and kisses Charity’s neck. 

Sex seems to have a softening effect on Charity; her arms come around Vanessa and she holds their damp bodies close together with Vanessa still half on top of her. “How’s the hangover?” she asks with a smirk.

“Almost gone,” she answers honestly. 

“Almost?” Charity quirks an eyebrow. “Let’s see if we can fix that.”

 

“Wha-” Vanessa starts, but Charity grasps her hips and pulls her until she’s sitting upright and sliding up her body.

She realises suddenly what Charity means and she can feel her face and chest heating up. Charity wants her to, to….so she can…

“Are you waiting for an engraved invitation?” Charity bitches but it lacks her usual bite.

“You don’t have to do that,” Vanessa says, but even to her own ears that doesn’t sound very convincing; she’s almost breathless at the mere thought of climbing on top of Charity’s mouth and feeling that sharp tongue on her.

“It’ll be good, promise,” Charity assures her.

 _That’s what I’m afraid of_ , Vanessa thinks desperately, but let’s herself be guided up anyway. She grasps the headboard to make sure she’s not smothering Charity. 

“Look at me,” Charity commands, and helplessly Vanessa obeys. 

It’s hard to keep her eyes open, when Charity spears her tongue into her, or when she’s gently flattening her tongue along her whole length. But it helps keep her in the moment, keep the panicked thoughts about how this is not her, this is wrong, away. 

At some point, Charity works one of fingers up and just inside Vanessa, and Vanessa actually lets out a little shout. She’s never been loud in bed, but then she’s never been fucked like this, like she’s being taken apart and put together again. 

Her orgasm rushes up on her without warning and she has to brace herself against the wall as it just goes on and on.

“There we go,” Charity rasps as she wipes her chin, and Vanessa carefully moves her shaky legs off her and slides back into the bed. “Isn’t that better?”

 _Is it?_

Vanessa has worked very, very hard to convince herself that this is not who she is, what she wants. Those other girls, other women were flukes. Girl crushes. 

And in one afternoon, Charity Dingle has completely unravelled that. 

Charity’s arms slip round round her. “I think I need a nap,” she mutters into Vanessa’s neck, and minutes later her breath evens out. 

Vanessa lets the heat of the body against her and the tiredness of her muscles soothe her, keeping the panic she can feel brewing away. 

But she has a sneaking suspicion that she hasn’t got anything out of her system. If anything, she’s taken off the tourniquet and it’s spread through her veins and to her heart. 

***. 

After her initial freak out, complete with melt down on Rhona’s sofa and an attempt at sleeping with Daz, Vanessa decides to approach this like she used to approach lectures she didn’t quite follow. 

Research. Practice. Repetition.

She goes on Amazon and orders supplies: the complete. _L Word_ box set, the entire list of “Top 10 sexiest lesbian movies” from a Buzzfeed listical, and a number of books including _So you might be gay and A Forty Year Old Lesbian’s Guide To Dating._

The research part is both entertaining and terrifying; it seems there is a lot to being a lesbian that she doesn’t know about. She watches season 1 of _The L Word_ and calls Rhona in crisis mode demanding to know whether her wardrobe is gay enough. When Rhona almost kills herself laughing, Google becomes her friend. She learns about u-hauls and spends one night reading an article about the advantages of different types of strap ons while swinging being aroused and horrified.

The practice bit is a little more tricky. After the aborted date with her sister’s accountant, Vanessa tries Tinder, and even chats to a couple of women on there. But one of them stops messaging her back when she mentions she has a son, which underscores to her that just because it’s a woman doesn’t mean they’re not an asshole, and when she’s on a call-out at a dog rescue near Hotten and the owner slips in that she’s seen Vanessa’s profile and asks whether she’d be interested in a threesome with her and her husband, Vanessa decides it’s better to leave that whole aspect until she has a solid grasp of the theory.

Repetition, however…

“ _There_ , yes, yes!” Vanessa’s head hits the wall of the stall hard but she can’t focus on anything but the fingers Charity has wedges into her jeans.

“Shhh,” Charity husks into her ear, her breath playing on Vanessa’s neck. “You have to be quiet.”

Vanessa wants to say _you try being quiet while someone does that inside you_ but all she manages is a strangled moan which she tries to muffle in the curve of Charity’s neck.

This was definitely not what she came into the pub for. She had been in a right mood after her last client of the day had demanded a second opinion from “the boss”, which in his view was Paddy, and had repeatedly referred to her as his “assistant” despite Paddy addressing her pointedly as Dr Woodfield the entire afternoon.

So when she got home she went to _The Woolpack_ and ordered a large whiskey, which she had intended to glower into for an hour before she had to collect Johnny from the childminder. 

Instead, Charity had plonked herself opposite, and instead of spouting her annoying innuendo which she had taken to shouting around the pub, just in case there was anyone left in Yorkshire unaware that they had slept together, she had listened with a glint in her eye, and then grabbed Vanessa’s hand and pulled her into the bathrooms. 

It’s still early-ish, on a Tuesday, so it’s not packed yet, but they still don’t have long before someone needs to use the bathroom. Charity’s not messing around either, and within minutes Vanessa’s eyes roll back in her head and she clutches Charity’s back as she shakes and shakes.

Charity pulls out of her jeans and wipes her fingers on some loo roll before winking at her. “Don’t let the bastards keep you down, Kid,” she says, tapping Vanessa’s nose once before unlocking the stall and heading to the sinks. 

Vanessa is still trying to catch her breath by the time she hears the main door to the toilets open and close, and by the time she’s cleaned herself up and brushed through her hair with her fingers, Charity is back pulling pints and trading banter with the regulars like she didn’t just finger Vanessa in the bathroom like there was no tomorrow.

So yeah, repetition. Vanessa keeps thinking, keeps telling herself that it’s not going to happen again, but the problem with having no sex for absolutely ages and then having the best sex she’s ever had is that doesn’t really want to stop having it, even if it is with super-bitch Charity Dingle.

And the problem is, as well, that Vanessa is actually starting to kind of like Charity, when she’s not announcing their business to the entire pub or making lewd gestures at her as Vanessa drives past when she takes the bins out in the mornings. 

So maybe a normal person might have offered a sympathetic ear or advice after listening to a story about a sexist client, instead of taking her to the bathrooms for a quickie, but Vanessa can’t deny that it was effective in putting her mood right.

And despite how she acts in public, in bed (or in the bathroom stall, depending on the circumstances) Charity is actually nice.

Not flowers-and-rainbows nice, of course. But when they have another night together, Vanessa notices that Charity has trimmed her nails right down, and when they’re done and Vanessa has to apologetically dash off to a work emergency because she’s on call, Charity just rolls her eyes and makes her a cup of tea in a travel mug, “ _so those fingers don’t fall off, because that would be a tragedy_ ”.

But this slightly softer side to Charity means that Vanessa has all but abandoned her attempts at online dating. Instead, she focuses her energy on researching a skill which she has not had the guts to practice on Charity yet, and given Charity’s own proven prowess in that particular area, Vanessa is determined to go in prepared.

So when Charity texts her one afternoon, simply saying _On early tonight, want to see you. Can I come round later_? Vanessa replies _Sure Johnny will be with Dad, come round when you’re done_.

She’s on her period but decides not to mention it; she doesn’t want Charity to reschedule and it also means that she can’t chicken out since Charity will be expecting sex of some description.

After some truly horrifying Pornhub videos (Vanessa cringed so hard at the length of the girls’ nails she had to turn it off), she has discovered that there is a wealth of information, including diagrams, about how to go down on a woman, available on all sorts of helpful websites. At the very least, Vanessa is satisfied that she’s more prepared than the guy who did this to her the first time was.

It’s about quarter past seven when there’s a knock on the door. Vanessa turns around from where she’s stirring the pot of stew and shouts “It’s open!”

She hears Charity shuffle in, kicking off her shoes, and turns around to smile at her. 

She’s wearing one of Vanessa’s favourite tops today, the black one with the zip, and she looks gorgeous. 

“Hi! I was just about to have some stew but I wasn’t sure if you’d eaten. Want some? It’s beef.”

Charity stops in her tracks. She looks over Vanessa, who blushes and quickly whips the apron off over her head, and then at the table set with two bowls and two glasses of red wine. 

“You made me dinner?” Her tone is hard to read, and Vanessa suddenly realises she may have misjudged this. 

“I made myself dinner,” Vanessa says, deliberately casual, “but there’s more than enough for you, if you’re hungry.” She tries a flirty smile. “Thought you might want to get your strength up.”

It works. Charity relaxes and somewhat awkwardly slides into the seat opposite Vanessa while she plates up, and tries to keep the conversation casual by having a minor rant about Pearl.

Once Charity has taken a large gulp of wine, her shoulders drop a little and she actually smiles a little as Vanessa prattles on.

Vanessa can almost deceive herself it’s a date. 

Charity’s not a bad date, either. She doesn’t talk much but she refills Vanessa’s glass when it runs low and keeps eye contact when Vanessa tells her a story about her day, and when they’re both almost done she begins sliding her foot slowly up Vanessa’s shin, making her shiver.

Show time. Vanessa grabs the bowls before she can change her mind, and puts them in the sink before turning around, grabbing Charity by the front of her shirt, and tugging her firmly forward into a kiss that leaves no room for interpretation.

Charity winds her arms around her immediately and opens her mouth eagerly. The more they do this, the better then get at slotting together, at pressing the buttons that get each other going. 

Within minutes they’re stumbling up the stairs, stopping half way up to make out against the wall until one of the pictures hung there falls off and tumbled down the stairs.

When they reach Vanessa’s bedroom, Charity glances around but Vanessa doesn’t wait; she doesn’t want to lose her nerve. She tugs on the zipper of Charity’s top and tugs it out of her jeans, pushing it up and off her.

“Eager tonight, are we?” Charity smirks, and undoes her own jeans, stepping out of them before unbuttoning Vanessa’s shirt and shoving it to the ground. But when she reaches for Vanessa’s jeans, Vanessa clasps her wrist.

“Don’t.” She grabs Charity’s other wrist gently and walks her back. 

“What’s wrong?” Charity asks, frowning a little. 

“I’ve got my period,” Vanessa says, pushing Charity gently down on the side of the bed and reaching for a pillow which she drops on the floor in front of her. “So tonight is going to be about you.”

She drops to her knees on the pillow and Charity’s eyes go wide as she realises what Vanessa means.

Charity opens her mouth, but Vanessa silences her by moving in between Charity’s thighs and pressing a kiss to her satin-covered centre.

Charity falls back against the bed with a choked sigh. “Well, I won’t say no to an offer like that,” she husks, as Vanessa reaches up and drags her knickers down her legs.

“Tell me if I do something you don’t like,” Vanessa says, and then she gently pries open Charity’s thighs and dives in.

It’s unlike anything Vanessa’s ever done before. Their heated ascent to the bedroom means Charity is wet already and she starts by swirling her tongue around that wetness to get used to the taste and texture.

Charity spreads her legs wider and pulls up her knees. But Vanessa refuses to be rushed. She licks Charity slowly up and down, very much enjoying the way she struggles to keep her hips down.

“Vanessa,” Charity chokes, and Vanessa smiles into her wetness. It’s still thrilling, how quickly Charity gets there the first time, and although she’s not arrogant enough to think that that’s just because of her skills, it’s still flattering. 

Taking pity on her, Vanessa decides to employ one of the techniques she read about. She uses the tip of her tongue to spell out her name against Charity’s clit, who begins panting and sighing, and her left hand clutches Vanessa’s head. Success. Vanessa spells Charity’s name next, but when she reaches the R Charity’s hips slam up and she cries out, so Vanessa does that a couple more times until she feels Charity shake and come. 

Vanessa doesn’t let her catch her breath; instead she thrusts her tongue inside Charity and uses her thumb to gently stimulate her clit. 

“Yes!” Charity groans, grinding her hips firmly against Vanessa’s mouth. “Fuck, Ness.” 

It doesn’t take long her to be close again, and Vanessa switches over so her fingers are inside and she’s sucking gently on Charity’s clit as she comes and comes.

It’s a good one; Vanessa can tell from the way Charity trembles all over and pulls at her hair as she rubs herself against Vanessa.

As her hips fall back onto the bed, Charity clearly expects Vanessa to emerge, but Vanessa has other plans. Very gently, and mindful of how sensitive Charity will be now, she licks up the side of her labia and around the clit, taking care to avoid touching it.

“Ness…” Charity chokes. “I don’t think I can…” She struggles to lift her head and looks down at Vanessa, who doesn’t stop but reaches up to take Charity’s hand in hers. She squeezes it reassuringly, and then slowly, slowly, lets her tongue glide once again over the centre of Charity’s pleasure. 

Charity clenches her hand so hard it almost hurts and her eyes slam shut. “Oh god,” she cries, sounding desperate, but she doesn’t ask Vanessa to stop, and so she carefully keeps going, keeping her touch light and slow until Charity hisses “So close,” and then she gently flicks her clit in quick circles until Charity’s back arches and Vanessa’s chin is soaked with her wetness. 

She’s still trembling when she pushes Vanessa’s head away. “Stop, oh god stop,” she mutters, and Vanessa grins and wipes her mouth discretely on the side of the duvet before crawling onto the bed. Despite the pillow her knees are a little sore, and her tongue feels kind of strained, but she’s pretty pleased with how that turned out otherwise.

Eyes still closed, Charity groans “I can hear you gloating.”

“Just pleased that my research was worthwhile,” Vanessa grins, feeling light and happy, despite the pool of unsatisfied arousal in her own stomach. “Not too shabby for a first attempt.”

“If you’re fishing for compliments, you’ll have to wait until my brain grows back, because it’s just been fucked out of me,” Charity replies. 

Vanessa hums contentedly, and then takes a risk and snuggles up to Charity, throwing her arm over her stomach. She tries to hide her smile when Charity turns her head to place a kiss on Vanessa’s head. 

It’s intimate, and oddly sweet considering Vanessa’s face is still damp with sex, and Charity’s chest is still heaving. 

After a few minutes, when Charity’s breathing has calmed down, she places her fingers under Vanessa’s chin and kisses her deeply. Vanessa groans into the kiss when their tongues touch and she feels herself clench, cursing biology.

“So you’re not into sex during your period then?” Charity husks, scraping her nails along the back on Vanessa’s neck.

“Erm,” Vanessa mutters, hesitant. “I mean, I’ve never…it just seems a bit messy?”

Charity kisses her again and it makes her tremble with lust. She really, really wants Charity’s hands between her legs, but the idea of it makes her cringe.

“Do you have a bathtub?” Charity asks, and when Vanessa nods, she quirks her brow. “Wanna maybe give that a go? It’ll be fun, promise babe.”

So despite her reservations, Vanessa finds herself in the tub, waiting for Charity to lower herself behind her. 

She’s nervous but trying not to show it; Charity obviously thinks it’s not a big deal and logically she knows that it’s all natural and stuff, but she’s still anxious. 

“Jesus, Ness, are you trying to boil me?” Charity curses as she dips her toe in. 

“Sorry,” Vanessa laughs. “I like it hot.”

“Lucky for you I’m here then,” Charity winks, and then takes an overly dramatic breath and sinks in behind Vanessa.

Vanessa sinks back against her and sighs, feeling herself relax. Despite Charity’s bitching, she’s being very gentle with Vanessa, drawing her close and kissing her neck. When she nibbles her earlobe, Vanessa feels her arousal flood back.

She arches into Charity’s hands as she slides them over her wet breasts, and plays with her nipples until they are rock hard against her.

But when she feels Charity move her left hand slowly down her stomach and to the apex of her thigh, she tenses involuntarily.

Charity stops at once. “It’s ok,” she says reassuringly, as Vanessa closes her eyes, embarrassed. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

Frustrated, Vanessa lets out a sigh. “I do want to. I just, I don’t know…” 

Charity turns Vanessa’s face to the side and kisses her deeply. “Shhh,” she says into her mouth. “Relax.” Slowly, Vanessa relaxes her body as Charity kisses her again, and arches into her hands as she rubs them over Vanessa’s upper body. “I have an idea,” Charity whispers. “Trust me?”

Vanessa nods immediately and then realises that it’s true. She does trust Charity, trusts her not to hurt her. 

Charity takes Vanessa’s hand gently in hers, and then pushes it slowly down her body. “I want you to try touching yourself for me.” 

Vanessa’s mouth goes dry, but the obvious arousal in Charity’s voice spurs her on. The idea of putting on a show for Charity turns her on even more. 

She lets out a little gasp when her own finger slides against her clit; she’s wet and slippery and after spending almost an hour eating out Charity she’s ready for this.

“That’s it,” Charity whispers, her voice low and gravely. “Slow and gentle.”

Vanessa arches back into her and lets out a happy sigh. It feels good. And with Charity’s hands on her tits and Charity’s mouth in her neck, she knows she won’t last long.

“Charity,” she moans. She pulls up her leg so her knee sticks up out of the water to give herself a better angle, and feels herself finally completely relax.

“You’re so hot, Ness,” Charity whispers in her ear. “You’re getting me wet again, just watching you.”

The idea that this is getting Charity off adds a delicious edge to it, and she can feel herself start to slide towards her peak.

“Charity,” she moans again. “Charity, I’m going to come.”

“Yes, Ness.” Charity pinches her nipples gently, mouthing her neck. “Come for me. Let me see you.”

Realising what she needs, Vanessa grabs Charity’s hand and pulls it between her legs. “Please,” she says, shivering as she feels Charity’s longer fingers against her clit. “Please.”

Charity swirls her fingers around Vanessa’s clit, then begins rubbing her rhythmically and rapidly, and Vanessa slams back into her and her leg kicks out as she clenches and water slops over the sides of the tub.

“I’ve got you.” Charity slows down her fingers as Vanessa comes down. “I’ve got you Ness.”

Vanessa closes her eyes, riding the feeling. She hopes that’s true. Because she can feel herself getting too invested, and she’s not at all sure Charity will be there to catch her.

*** 

The constant push and pull is exhausting. Vanessa has never been so exasperated by anyone she’s ever liked romantically. One minute they’re having the most tender, passionate sex that Vanessa has ever had, and the next minute Charity is blanking her in the pub and flirting with random punters right in front of her. One minute she’s defending Vanessa to Veronica and dragging Vanessa down to the cellar to shove up her skirt and grind her hand up against her wetness, and the next minute she’s telling Vanessa that she’ll be bored of her in a couple of weeks.

Of all the bloody women Vanessa has ever liked, she had to pick the most difficult one to try and make a go of it with. 

They don’t speak the week before Christmas, and Vanessa keeps herself busy and tells herself she has more than enough to do. Everyone is coming to hers and she needs to get the house in order and make sure she has all the food and drink sorted. 

She stays strong until Christmas Eve, when she gives in and sends Charity a message: a picture of herself with a Santa hat on and she captions it “Merry Christmas”.

Charity doesn’t respond, and Vanessa glumly puts Johnny to bed and wraps her final present for her dad (socks with the days of the week on them, which he loves for some reason).

There’s a knock on the door, so soft Vanessa is initially unsure whether she’s misheard. But then it happens again and she pads across and unlocks the door in her fluffy socks and Christmas leggings.

Charity is standing outside, with pink cheeks and cute ear muffs on. “Hey! Sorry, I tried to text you that I was outside but you didn’t see it, and I didn’t want to wake the wee man.”

Vanessa tries to keep the smile off her face but when Charity is in a good mood her smile is infectious. “Do you want to come in?” she asks, and feels probably too disappointed when Charity shakes her head.

“Pub’s packed. I just snuck off so I can say Merry Christmas before you head to bed.”

Touched, Vanessa steps forward. “Merry Christmas to you too,” Vanessa smiles. 

Charity holds up a bottle of mulled wine. “Got you this, in case you need it tomorrow. I usually have a sneaky flask in my handbag at Christmas.”

Vanessa laughs. “Thanks!” She reaches around and grabs the mince pie that she left there with Johnny earlier. “For that you can have Santa’s mince pie.”

She expects Charity to reach out and take it, but instead Charity steps up to her and eats the small pie out of her hand, licking up the little bits of icing sugar stuck to Vanessa’s fingers.

It’s really not fair, how unfairly sexy Charity is all the bloody time, and how it makes Vanessa forget that she’s actually kind of annoyed at her.

Vanessa reaches out and grabs the lapels of Charity’s jacket and pulls her forward into a heated kiss. She tastes of sugar and spices and Vanessa very much wants to take her inside and lay her on the sofa and kiss her all over.

But after a few minutes Charity’s phone rings loudly, and she sighs into the kiss before pulling back. “Chas,” she explains apologetically. “I’ll make it up to you babe, yeah?”

Vanessa tugs her back forward. “I’ll hold you to that,” she whispers, before leaning in again.

*** 

Things don’t improve in the New Year. Vanessa is vaguely aware of the Dingle family drama with Joe Tate, and that Charity seems to be caught up in the middle of it, but she’s hesitant to ask Charity about it, because she constantly has deep worry lines etched into her face which only seem to disappear on the couple of occasions when they sneak to the back room and press each other into the sofa.

But when Vanessa finally hits her limit, and decides she can’t put up with the hot and cold anymore, Charity chases her. And ok, it’s not like she’s asking Vanessa to be her girlfriend or whatever, but from Charity Dingle, an I like you is pretty much more than Vanessa had expected. She can work with that.

She’s pretty sure now that Charity, despite her protests, wouldn’t actually mind a bit of commitment between them. Vanessa just needs to tease it out of her.

She tries the next night. They’re at Vanessa’s, and they’ve actually made it to bed, unlike the night when Charity chased her down the street when, high on their declarations, they had breathlessly fucked each other against the wall next to the door, and then again on the sofa, where they fell asleep and woke up stiff and sticky the next morning. 

But tonight they’ve taken their time, working each other up slowly, looking into each other’s eyes until it gets too much, and they manage to time it so that they come almost perfectly together, Charity managing to hold on just long enough to make Vanessa’s toes curl before she jerks against her as well.

They lie tangled together, and Vanessa stretches, enjoying the delicious strain in her muscles. “Before I forget,” she says, deliberately casual, “I, erm, I got tested.” She fights to keep the blush off her cheek and reaches over to her bedside table to pull the NHS envelope towards her and holds it out to Charity. “And I’m, you know, clean.”

Charity stares at her.

“I realise we probably should have had this chat months ago, but, you know, I just wanted to make sure. I mean, I haven’t been with anyone else, since we first did this, but I just thought you deserved to know.”

Charity takes the envelope but holds it away from her, like it’s something very smelly that might explode in her face. 

Vanessa takes a deep breath. “And, you know, since we’re _casual_ and all, if I were to be with anyone else, I would obviously let you know, and get tested again,” she says slowly. 

For a minute Charity says nothing. Then she sits up. “Right,” she nods. “Yeah, sure, erm, me too.” She gives Vanessa the envelope back without opening it. “I mean, I erm, don’t really carry that around with me, but I can show you my last results if you want.”

“I trust you,” Vanessa says, a weight settling heavily in her gut. _If you don’t want me to get with other people, just fucking say it_ , she wants to scream at Charity, who is staring at her hands slightly forlornly.

But before Vanessa can say anything further, the expression disappears from Charity’s face, and she turns back to her with a flirty smile plastered on her face and presses her back into the bed, kissing her neck. “Let’s make use of those excellent test results then,” she whispers, before slipping down Vanessa’s body and burying her face in her heat.

It seems to Vanessa, who finds out several days later from a frazzled Chas that Charity has taken the kids and disappeared to Lanzarote, that she needs to up her game.

The opportunity arises when Charity runs into them getting into the taxi to the gay bar. Vanessa decides enough is enough: she’s going to test Charity once and for all.

She knows the hit lands as soon as she mentions potentially getting with someone else; Charity’s face falls and she doesn’t even have a sharp retort. 

But the thing is that Vanessa’s heart isn’t actually all that into it when they get to the club. A couple of women dance with her, but she doesn’t even register them until they’ve already given up. 

They take a group selfie and Vanessa posts it on Instagram, possibly overdoing it a little with the hashtags.

“You need to hold the phone higher if you want a better angle,” a voice next to her ear says. 

Vanessa turns around to face a very pretty redhead, who is smiling at her. 

“Maybe you should demonstrate your technique,” Vanessa replies, shocking herself, but the woman’s smile widens. 

“With pleasure,” she whispers into Vanessa’s ear, and Vanessa shivers a little. They take the photo, and it’s a good one: Vanessa looks sultry rather than kind of squinty drunk, and she immediately fires it off to Charity. 

“Wanna dance?” the redhead asks. “My name’s Jules.”

For a moment, Vanessa is tempted. Now that she’s taken the stopper out of that part of her emotions, she can admit to herself that she is attracted to Jules. But, she’s not Charity. Charity, who seems to have opened Vanessa’s eyes to the possibility of sleeping with women and simultaneously wheedled her way so far into Vanessa’s brain that she can’t even contemplate dancing with another woman without feeling guilty.

Which is daft because _Charity_ is the one who keeps on insisting on this stupid casual thing.

Jules leans back and gives her a small smile. “Look, no pressure. I’ll be over there with my friends, and if you decide you fancy it, just come and grab me.” She smiles again and leaves Vanessa, whose heart is thumping hard in her chest.

She resolves to forget Charity for the rest of the night and have fun, and she quickly downs another drink and dances with her friends, letting that ball of anxiety over her feelings rest until she turns around and suddenly sees Charity standing in the door, smirking gently at her. 

_She came for me_ , Vanessa realises. And yeah, maybe Charity can’t always say what she wants or what she means. But she chases Vanessa before she goes to far, and that means something. By the end of the night, she has her first ever official girlfriend, and she glows with it.

*** 

Vanessa sometimes wonders whether they would have slipped this fast, this hard, into something that means so much, if one of them were a man. She’s never felt like this in any of her previous relationships, but it’s hard to tell whether it’s because it’s her first woman or because it’s _Charity_ , who continues to be infuriating and surprising and breathtaking over the months that follow.

Vanessa knows, when Charity sticks a moustache on her face and promises to stick by her on one of the worst days of Vanessa’s life, that they’ve turned a corner.

She almost feels guilty to think it sometimes, but if she had to be suspended for a year, it was lucky it was this one. The summer is hard on them, with the revelations about Ryan and Bails and the trial looming. Charity is unravelling and Vanessa doesn’t know how to help. She feels constantly sick, thinking about how Charity must be feeling, and then guilty for making it about herself.

She tries to do some reading on how to support her but it’s hard going, and every time she reads the word ‘victim’ she can hear Charity screaming _I’m not his victim_ and then she shuts down the tablet and wishes there was a way to take away the pain.

It’s one of the hottest summers she can remember but it’s long and dark in their little corner of the world, and there are times when the despair coming off Charity threatens to sink them. But she’s so strong, despite what she believes about herself, and Vanessa loves her so much for that strength that it makes it possible to believe that there is a light coming. 

And it does come. Slowly. Bails is sent down. Charity slowly emerges from her downward spiral. She lets Vanessa in, just a little bit.

And she tells Vanessa she loves her.

After Charity pulls back from their hug, Vanessa excuses herself, and then sits in the bedroom and cries for a good ten minutes. Charity finds her there, a worried expression on her face, until Vanessa leaps up and kisses her wetly the way that she wanted to downstairs, the way she would have if the boys hadn’t been sitting there. 

Charity always teases her, later, that she cried so much, but Vanessa knows that Charity also shed a tear or two when they were wrapped up in each other, and she keeps that knowledge locked close inside.

They rarely spend a night apart now. Even Noah pretty much evenly divides his time between her house and the pub. 

It’s become a routine at bedtime, when they’re at Vanessa’s, that while Vanessa locks up and washes her face and brushes her teeth, Charity does a crossword from the book Vanessa bought her and left on her bedside table. Sometimes they’ll finish it together, but most nights Charity has it done before Vanessa slips into the bed next to her. Vanessa suspects she rather enjoys showing off about how good she is at them, especially because Vanessa is rubbish, and Vanessa enjoys how cute Charity is when she’s pleased with herself.

But tonight when Vanessa walks into the bedroom, Charity isn’t sitting in the bed. Instead, she kneeling beside it, and the box Vanessa had shoved under her bed is pulled out beside Charity, who is merrily sifting through it.

Vanessa feels the flush rise on her cheeks even as the anger wells up in her.

“What are you doing?” she asks, trying to sound casual.

Charity beams up at her. “Oh my god, babe, what the hell is this? Your secret lesbian crash course?” She waves a Melissa Etheridge CD at her, and then gestures around to the collection of DVDs, books and a couple copies of Diva which she had worked up the courage to buy in WH Smith in London before her train back from her disciplinary hearing. 

“That’s just some stuff for the charity shop,” she mutters. 

“Sure, if it’s Oxfam on Lesbos,” Charity laughs. “Babe, I hate to break it to you, but everyone already knows you like the ladies. It’s no use hiding this stuff under the bed.”

Vanessa irrationally feels the sting of tears in her eyes. She quickly walks over to the box and begins throwing stuff into it haphazardly, chucking the lid on angrily and shoving it back to where it came from. “I’m aware. You kind of made sure of that by outing me to half the village, didn’t you.” 

“Ness,” Charity says, clearly surprised at the strength of her reaction, but Vanessa is trying desperately not to cry and she slips into her side of the bed and turns off the beside lamp.

She knows, of course, that she’s overreacting. Charity probably genuinely thought this was a big joke. She doesn’t know about how Vanessa agonised about this, and in a way that’s probably Vanessa’s fault because she hasn’t shared it with her.

Charity slips into bed too, hesitating for a moment before reaching out to touch Vanessa’s hip. “Babe? Ness?”

Vanessa tries to say something, to make light of it and and move on, but the words get stuck behind the lump in her throat and she finds she can’t.

“I’ve said I’m sorry about the thing in the pub,” Charity tells her back. 

Vanessa bites her lip but a tear slips out. The thing is, Charity probably did do her a favour. She’s spent almost thirty years agonising over her feelings for her girls, and in one fell swoop Charity took the responsibility of telling everyone in her life off her.

But the fact that they’ve all been so supportive, even if they’re not exactly thrilled with her choice of companion, almost makes it worse.

Because Vanessa can’t help but wonder how much time she’s wasted, being afraid. Whether she could have had this earlier. Whether those years at uni pining over various friends could have been avoided if she’d just been honest with herself.

She doesn’t really let herself think about all that stuff anymore, firstly because she has Charity and Moses and Noah now, and they’re amazing but take up a lot of space in her head, and secondly because it still hurts, to remember the way she used to hate herself for those feelings, now that she’s finally let herself feel them.

“Babe?” When she doesn’t turn around, Charity starts getting defensive. “Look, I just dropped my pen lid. I wasn’t snooping. I’m sorry for looking or whatever.”

Vanessa tries to get a grip on herself, but it’s like the floodgates have opened and suddenly she’s crying, and Charity says her name in alarm and then hesitantly touches her hip to turn her over. 

Mortified and feeling needy, Vanessa throws herself into Charity’s arms, who sighs as if in relief and holds her close. 

“Hey, hey, it’s alright.” She rubs her hand over Vanessa’s pj covered back. “It’s ok.”

She’s so embarrassed but she can’t stop, and she gulps and gulps as Charity holds her tight. 

When she manages to get herself mostly under control, Charity pulls back slightly to look down at her face. Vanessa wipes at her face with the sleeve of her hoodie. She must look a right state.

“Babe,” Charity says, sounding uncertain. “What’s going on?” 

Vanessa shakes her head. “It’s nothing. Sorry, I’m not sure where that came from.”

Charity hesitates. Vanessa can almost feel her trying to decide whether to push. “Babe, I know I’m not the most attentive girlfriend in the world but I’m pretty sure it’s not nothing when you cry like that. And someone annoyingly clever once told me that you should never say you’re ok when you’re not.”

Having her own words thrown back at her makes Vanessa pause. It’s not really fair of her, to push and push with Charity and then not give anything of herself. 

Even if she suspects Charity is going to think it’s ridiculous.

“You’re going to think it’s silly,” Vanessa echoes her own thoughts. 

Charity smiles at her. “Why don’t you try me.”

Vanessa realises with an ache that Charity is looking at her eagerly; she wants to help her. She’s probably been wanting to show that she can be a supportive girlfriend as well. 

“I bought all that stuff after we first slept together,” she mumbles. “I was trying to wrap my head around it all.”

“You mean after I turned you?” Charity jokes, and Vanessa pulls away, annoyed. 

“This isn’t a joke to me, Charity.”

The smile fades off Charity’s face. “Ness, come on, I’m just trying to lighten the mood.”

“Look, I know you’ve said that it’s the same to you, whether it’s a man or a woman, and I think that’s great that’s how it is for you, but that’s not how it was for me.” Vanessa rubs her hand through her hair in frustration. “You didn’t turn me. I had those feelings for years.”

“Ness,” Charity starts but Vanessa shakes her head.

“No, let me finish. I know you don’t get this, but when we slept together, that first time, it was the most incredible experience. Because it was the first time I’d ever had sex where I wasn’t hiding part of me or pretending or thinking of someone else. It was terrifying.”

She feels herself choking up, and can’t look at Charity’s face in case she’s still laughing at her. She can’t bear that right now, not when she feels so raw.

“Vanessa,” Charity whispers. She puts her fingers under Vanessa’s chin and lifts her head. 

Vanessa swallows hard around the lump in her throat and realises with a start that Charity’s eyes are wet too. “You know it was special for me too,” Charity says softly . “The way you touched me.”

Vanessa reaches up to cup her cheek. “I’m glad it was you, who I went there with. But that doesn’t mean I don’t wish that I’d been brave enough to try before.” She bites her lip, but she’s started now. “I’ve loved men before. I did love Kirin. But I’m pretty sure, if god forbid we ever broke up, I’d never be with another guy again.” 

She blinks wetly, feeling silly for being so emotional. “And I was so overwhelmed at the start so I just panicked and I bought all that stuff because I thought it would help me.”

“Did it?” Charity asks, her voice sounding kind of rough. 

Vanessa shrugs. “Kind of.” She smirks a little. “It did teach me some techniques which you enjoyed.” 

“I’m sorry I was teasing,” Charity says sincerely. “I didn’t realise what that stuff meant to you and I was just having a bit of fun. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“It’s ok,” Vanessa smiles. She wipes at her eyes. “I overreacted. To be honest, I think I had a good cry coming. I haven’t watched any sad movies in ages and it’s been all bottled up.”

Vanessa feels Charity tug her forward and against her chest and she releases the breath caught in her chest. “I know it’s been all about me lately,” Charity says hesitantly. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be there for you. And this is obviously something you’ve had bottled up for months. You can tell me stuff, ok? Just tell me to stop being so bloody self absorbed and listen to you.”

“Ok,” Vanessa chuckles wetly. 

They snuggle for a moment and then Vanessa decides to try and lighten the mood. 

“You know, if I hadn’t kind of known deep down, already, sleeping with you would have done it.”

“Done what?” Charity asks, confused. 

“Turned me,” Vanessa says, drawing back to look her in the eyes. “I’d never come like that in my entire life.”

Charity’s eyes go black. “Is that right?”

Vanessa creeps one of her hands under the covers and scrapes it over the thin material of Charity’s pj bottoms over her thigh.

“That first kiss you gave me, in the cellar?” She leans forward to whisper in Charity’s ear, revelling in the way Charity shivers in response. 

“Yes?” It’s almost a hiss, as Vanessa’s hand slips up to the waistband and then slips underneath it.

“I was so wet that night I almost came without you touching me.” 

Charity whines and thrusts her hips up. 

Vanessa leans up and kisses her deeply as her finger slip down to where Charity wants her.

“I love you,” she whispers against her mouth, and revels in how that and her fingers make Charity moan and tremble.

*** 

It’s November when Vanessa snaps about the current arrangement. First she can’t find the shirt she had decided to wear to schmooze an important potential new client, and then realises it’s in the wash basket at Charity’s. Then Johnny has a ten minute tantrum about how he can’t go to nursery without a very specific truck toy for show and tell, which is inevitably one of the ones at Charity’s.

And then she’s standing in the kitchen and can’t find her travel mug. 

“Oh, sorry babe,” Charity mumbles around her toast. “It’s at mine.”

“Why the hell is nothing I need ever here,” Vanessa fumes. She’s in a terrible mood anyway; she’s PMSing and she still hasn’t started her Christmas shopping and nothing is going right today. She pours a glass of milk for Moses and heads over to give it to him when Noah says, without looking up from his Special K, “This wouldn’t happen if you guys moved in together.”

Vanessa drops the glass onto the floor and glass and milk splatters everywhere. 

“Oopsie!” Moses exclaims, delighted. 

Vanessa starts picking up the pieces but her hands are shaking and she cuts herself. “Shoot,” she swears, mindful of the toddler presence.

“Let me see that,” Charity says helping her up and examining the cut. “Noah, go get the first aid kit.”

He sighs but slumps up the stairs.

Vanessa bites her lip and dares to glance at Charity. But she doesn’t seem freaked out.

“There’s no plasters!” Noah shouts from the top floor.

“I bought some last week!” Vanessa rages.

“Yeah but then you brought them over when Moses scrapes his knee,” Charity says, gently dabbing Vanessa’s bleeding hand with a damp cloth. 

Vanessa barely manages to keep the swear in that time but she does roll her eyes heavenward.

When she dares to glance at Charity again, she’s surprised to see her laughing. 

“What?” she snaps.

“You’re just very cute when you’re irate,” Charity replies, leaning down to get the small dust pan and brush from under the sink and begins to brush up the shards on the floor.

Vanessa chews her lip. She wants to talk about what Noah said but she doesn’t want to start an argument; with the mood she’s in she’ll probably escalate it and that’s just pointless.

Charity brushes the glass into the bin and then comes over and takes Vanessa’s hands. “Stop freaking out. We don’t have to move in yet if you’re not ready.”

“If _I’m_ not ready?” she chokes out.

Charity smiles at her, that small, soft smile that rarely comes out and usually only when they’re alone. “I know it’s soon. I don’t want to rush you.”

“Rush me,” Vanessa repeats weakly, wondering if she’s got up in an alternate universe this morning.

“But whenever you’re ready to stop having a coronary every morning because half your stuff is at mine, just let me know.” She presses a soft kiss to Vanessa’s lips and then checks the floor for any stray pieces of glass.

“You want to move in with me?” Vanessa says, wanting to be absolutely clear on that point. “You’re saying you’re ready to move in here.”

Charity looks at her with concern. “I’m sorry if you think it’s too-”

Vanessa throws her arms around her and plants a firm, sloppy kiss on her. “Move in here,” she says. “Like, tomorrow. If I never have to hear the phrase ‘oh, that’s at my place’ again it’ll be too soon.”

Charity beams at her. “Yeah?”

“Of course, you daft mare,” Vanessa replies. “And hey, this way you no longer have to sprint across the village in your pjs to save me from spiders.”

“You’re a vet, you should really be able to handle those,” Charity rolls her eyes affectionately.

“A vet for animals, not monsters,” Vanessa mumbles. 

“Is it safe to come down?” Noah calls from half way down the stairs.

“Yep,” Charity calls. “By the way, we’re moving.”

“Oh joy,” Noah moans, but he does so with a smile, and Vanessa’s chest suddenly feels very tight as she realises that all her Dingles are as ready for this next step as she is.

*** 

They end up waiting until after Christmas to properly move Charity’s stuff, even if they spend most of their time at Vanessa’s. It takes Vanessa almost a week to sort through her stuff and get rid of piles of clothes and things she doesn’t want or need to make room for Charity’s stuff. Even so, they end up heading to Ikea to pick up a second wardrobe and, on Charity’s insistence, a bigger sofa.

But when all their stuff is finally in and ‘Vanessa’s place’ becomes ‘their place’, it almost feels no different. They’re so comfortable with each other now, Vanessa almost can’t believe how quickly they’ve become this.

“You need glasses,” she tells Charity one night, watching her squint at her crossword.

“I do not,” Charity glowers.

“Charity, your nose is about half a centimetre from that book. You’re only going to make your eyesight worse if you don’t do something about it.”

“Glasses cost a fortune, and I’d hardly need them,” Charity whines.

Vanessa slips into bed next to her, thinking. “Hey, I think now we live together I can add you to my health insurance, the one I have through the RCVS.”

Charity grunts in response, already focused on her crossword again.

“Bet you’d look well sexy with glasses,” Vanessa sighs, picturing it. Charity’s not exactly the type to go all ‘sexy librarian’, but Vanessa still feels herself go hot imagining Charity pushing glasses up her nose.

That image stays with her, all through the next day, and so she digs out her paperwork and prints off and fills in the amendment paperwork that same day.

Two weeks later, Charity brings in the mail. “Letter for you, babe,” she says, absentmindedly chucking it at her while pouring over the catalogue that had come for her. 

Vanessa opens it and then feels herself go cold, then hot.

She must be still for too long, because Charity looks up at her with concern. “Ness?”

Vanessa grabs her phone and dials the number at the top. “ _Your call is important to us_ ,” the voice on the other end replies. “ _Please hold the line_.”

“What’s going in, Vanessa?”

Vanessa shakes her head, feeling her lips tighten in anger.

“ _You’re through to Jim at Quality Health Insurance, how can I help you?”_

“Hi Jim,” Vanessa says, trying to steady her voice. “I’ve just tried to add my partner and her sons to my health insurance, and received a response asking for evidence that we’re in a relationship. Can you please clarify what you mean by that?”

Jim stutters a little and takes her through her security questions, and then, sounding somewhat sheepish, explains “ _Our policy is to just check that our generous partner benefits aren’t being misused. They’re for people living together as a family, and not just roommates. So we really need some evidence that you and your friend are actually together_.”

“My _friend?”_ Vanessa exclaims, and Charity looks up at her in alarm. “This is ridiculous! Your policy says nothing about this! And I know for a fact that my friend whose boyfriend just moved in with her got into her policy no problem without any sort of evidence.”

“ _I’m sorry, Ma’am, but we’ll really need to see something-”_

Vanessa cuts him off. “Like what? Would you like me to take a video of her going down on me before you’ll add her to the cover?”

“Vanessa!” Charity exclaims in shock, but Vanessa is too far gone to calm down.

“I’d like to speak to a manager, please. Right now.”

It doesn’t help. Vanessa is so angry she’s shaking by the time she hangs up the phone. 

“Babe?” Charity says cautiously, rounding the sofa with a cup of tea. “I made you a brew.”

Vanessa still clutches the letter stating _Application denied pending further evidence_. “I can’t believe this.”

“Ness, we don’t need to be on the cover. I’ll just go to Specsavers tomorrow.” She nudges Vanessa gently. “You can come with me? Help me pick something you’ll like?”

“It’s not about the bloody glasses, Charity!” Vanessa leaps up, still too worked up to sit still. “The policy says it’s for the insured person _and their family_. I am entitled to add my family to that. This is ridiculous. Rhona didn’t have this kind of issue when Pete moved in, and Paddy added Chas no problem.”

“Hey, it’s ok,” Charity tries, but Vanessa can’t be soothed.

“I’m calling the Union,” she decides. “They’re not going to get away with this.”

Charity slumps into the sofa. “Oh boy.”

“What?” Vanessa snaps.

“You’ve got your scary face on, is all,” Charity mutters. “God help that insurance company.”

The Union is kind of useless, saying that the insurance cover is subject to the rules of the insurer. But Vanessa, who has gotten no less angry, won’t give up.

The RCVS annual conference is coming up, and Vanessa signs up to one of the talks by the Equality’s Committee. “I’m going to corner someone at the end and do something about this.”

“Maybe you should just let it go,” Charity suggests. “And, you know, focus on cornering me?” She gives Vanessa a wink.

Vanessa continues throwing clothes in her travel bag and holds up two blazers. “Which one says ‘no one messes with my family’ more?”

Charity sighs and flops back onto the bed.

*** 

Charity comes over as her and Rhona fling their bags down and settle into a booth.

She gives Vanessa a kiss and then smiles expectantly. “So, how was it? Learn lots of gross stuff? Did you manage to talk to someone about kicking some insurance ass?”

Vanessa bites her lip, but Rhona clearly can’t contain her glee. “Did she ever,” she cackles.

Charity narrows her eyes at the tone. “What does that mean?”

“It means that Vanessa was all like, ‘oh, I’ll speak to someone after’, and then basically went on a massive rant during the Q and A, and long story short, you’re now looking at the North West England Rep for the RCVS Equality Committee.”

“What?” Charity exclaimed.

“I’m not even elected yet,” Vanessa mumbled. “There’s an online ballot.”

“You’re running unopposed and they practically gave you a standing ovation after your little speech,” Rhona laughs. “I’d say you’ve got it in the bag.”

Charity rolls her eyes but Vanessa can tell she’s amused. “Going all political on me babe? Gonna shave your head and burn your bras?”

Vanessa grins despite herself. “And stop shaving my legs and go vegan.”

“Only if I can be there when you tell Noah that you’re no longer making that sausage casserole he loves. There might be a revolt.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been so obsessed with this, it just really winds me up,” Vanessa says, taking Charity’s hand and tugging her into the booth next to her. “I promise this won’t take up much time and I won’t bore you with it.”

“Can’t be worse than all that chat about abscesses after your last CPD event,” Charity smirks and gives her a kiss. 

*** 

Since Vanessa still has two months until her suspension is over, she throws herself fully into her new role. When the results come in a week later and she’s officially elected, the Chair of the committee messages her and asks to meet her so she invites her to Emmerdale.

Lexy turns out to be a woman in her mid thirties with purple hair. She’s really nice and she and Vanessa sit in the pub for a good hour just chatting. She’s not judgemental about Vanessa’s suspension (“ _could have happened to any of us_ ”) and she’s outraged at the attitude of the insurers. 

When Charity walks in for her shift, she sees them and walks over. Vanessa smiles up at her. “Charity, this is Lexy. She’s the chair of that new committee I’m on.”

Charity shakes her hand and smiles but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “Hello.”

Lexy smiles. “You must be Charity. Ness has been telling me all about you.”

Charity raises her eyebrows. “Oh really, _Ness_?” 

Vanessa blushes a little. “Lexy is an exotic species specialist in Leeds. Little bit more exciting than sheep and cows.”

“Exotic species?” 

Lexy nods enthusiastically. “Yeah, like lizards and exotic fish and-”

“Snakes?” Charity suggests. Her tone is friendly enough but Vanessa can detect an edge to it. 

“Exactly!” Lexy doesn’t seem to notice anything off, to Vanessa’s relief. “Right, I’d best be off, but I’ll be in touch later this week about that meeting and we’ll keep in touch, yeah? It was nice to meet you,” she directs at Charity, before waving and ducking out. 

“She fancies you,” Charity says immediately, the fake smile falling off her face.

“Don’t be silly,” Vanessa says. “Firstly, she’s seeing someone. She was just being nice. And secondly, even if she did, which she doesn’t, I don’t fancy her.” She leans forward to press a kiss against Charity’s lips. “I only want you, ok?”

“Well, I know that,” Charity mumbles, “just make sure Dr Exotic knows that too.”

*** 

It helps the last few weeks pass, looking through the emails she gets and making calls to the RCVS. And Lexy is good fun; it’s Vanessa’s first friend who’s a woman who is also into women (she’s not counting Charity), and it’s nice to have someone to talk to.

Charity sighs indulgently when Vanessa takes calls and answers emails while they watch _Strictly_. 

“You’re like a little terrier,” she laughs. “Fighting for justice, in your pjs on a Saturday night.”

“It’s just incredible!” Vanessa exclaims. “This poor guy in Hotten, his husband got an infection after a dog bit him while he was treating it and died. And now the life insurers are refusing to pay out to him even though his husband put him down on the form, and he might lose the house, and it’s just so sad.”

Charity shakes her head. “I don’t know why you torture yourself with this stuff.”

“Because it’s important, Charity!” 

“I get it, Ness, but it gets you so upset.”

But Vanessa can’t stop. If she’s honest with herself, it might have something to do with the powerlessness she’s felt over the last year, both in her job and with Charity.

But with this, she finally feels like she can do something. Help people.

A week before her suspension is over, she finally manages to sort the medical insurance issue, and high on her victory she rushes to the pub, and pulls Charity down to the basement to celebrate. 

“If this is what’s going to happen every time you win lesbianism,” Charity gasps, clutching the arm of the sofa, as Vanessa raises her glistening face from between her thighs, “then I fully support this.” 

Life is good. 

She comes home the day after their cellar tryst, carrying the milk Charity messaged her to pick up, and catches Charity watching the news.

“Hey,” she calls, dropping a kiss on Charity’s head, and then clocks what she’s watching. “Isn’t it great?”

The ticker announces over and over, _Northern Ireland legalises same-sex marriage_ , as the journalist reporting outside Belfast city hall is swarmed by rainbow flag-carrying celebrants. 

“Lexy messaged me when the bill passed. I couldn’t believe it.”

She puts the milk in the fridge and turns to Charity, who still hasn’t said anything. “Charity?”

Then she sees her face and it’s streaked with tears and mascara. Vanessa’s stomach drops. “Charity! What’s wrong?” She rushes to her and takes her hand. 

Charity shakes her head. “It’s nothing.” She wipes at her eyes and succeeds only in spreading her mascara more thoroughly over her face. 

“Charity,” Vanessa says again, gently but firmly. “Talk to me.”

Charity sighs deeply. “It’s that bloody news report, isn’t it.”

Vanessa turns to look at the TV, where the journalist is interviewing two ladies who look to be in their sixties. 

“ _Margaret and Anna have been together for thirty-six years. After Margaret’s husband died, she and her three children moved in with Anna, and the rest is history, as they say_.”

The microphone is pointed at the left woman. _“We have been wanting to get married for many years. Not just for us but for our children as well. Our children call Anna ‘Mum’ and being able to commit to each other in that way is important not just for us but for them as well.”_

Anna nods on the screen. “ _She’s been my wife in every way that counts for the past thirty six years, and I’m excited to finally make that official now_.”

Vanessa feels herself choking up and she turns to Charity. “You big softie.”

“Oh shut up,” Charity snaps but there’s no bite in it. “They’ve been playing interviews like that for half an hour, I’d like to see the state of you if you’d seen that.”

Vanessa plonks herself on the sofa, and pulls Charity towards her, smiling as Charity wraps her arms around her and buries her face in Vanessa’s shoulder. 

“Don’t you dare tell anyone about this,” Charity grumbles.

“Don’t worry,” Vanessa smiles. “Softie Charity is just for me.”

Charity huffs. 

They both watch the next set of interviews, this time a young gay couple with sparkling blazers and a troupe of enthusiastic rainbow flag waving supporters behind them.

“Love you,” Charity mumbles against her skin. 

It still makes her melt. “Love you too.”

*** 

The day her suspension ends, Vanessa floats to work. Rhona and Paddy get her a cake, and then she does a series of minor inoculations and looks forward to her dinner with Charity. Vanessa had promised to take her out to make up for the fact that she had been obsessively reading up on the latest veterinary developments in bed and Charity claimed that the pictures were giving her nightmares.

Around 4, they get a call about a distressed cow in labour, and Paddy volunteers to take it so Vanessa can make her dinner plans. But at around 5, they get another call that Paddy somehow twisted his ankle getting into the car on the way back, and a couple of minutes later Charity calls her apologetically to tell her that Chas has gone to get him and she’ll need to cover the bar until further notice.

Vanessa doesn’t mind. She floats home, high on finally being back to doing what she loves. 

Her phone buzzes. _How was the first day? Ready for your hot date?_

Vanessa smiles. Lexy has been so great these past view weeks, and it’s nice to have someone to hang out with who gets both her job and her personal life.

_First day was amazing!! Hot date sadly cancelled as Charity has to work. _

There’s no response and Vanessa relaxes into the sofa, when suddenly there’s a knock on the door.

“Lexy!” she says in surprise. 

“I was in the neighbourhood and wanted to give you these as a ‘welcome back to work’ present,” she says, holding out a bunch of flowers. “And then I thought, since you’re alone anyway…” she holds out a bottle of red.

“Come in!” Vanessa smiles. “This is so nice of you. Everyone has been so great today.” She walks to the kitchen and takes down to wine glasses, remembering with a smile the special wake up she got from Charity this morning to calm her nerves. 

She pours the wine and turns around, and jumps a little because Lexy has followed her into the kitchen and is standing right in front of her. 

“Jesus, you should wear a bell or someth-”

Lexy leans forward and grazes her lips against Vanessa’s, who jumps back and quickly puts down the wine glasses.

“What the hell are you doing?!”

Lexy reaches for her with her hand. “Sorry, I should have asked first. You just looked so cute and I thought it was time-”

“Time for what? I have a girlfriend!” Vanessa exclaims. She can feel herself shaking.

“Vanessa, come on,” Lexy says softly. “I know you’re seeing Charity and that she was your first, but you can’t deny there’s something between us. We have so much in common. We care about the same stuff. We like the same shows and books, we even have the same job! And from what you’ve told me about Charity, she doesn’t really get any of that stuff. I mean, she’s not even here right now.” She takes a step forward and Vanessa automatically steps back, until her back hits the fridge. “I really, really like you, Vanessa. And I know you like me too.”

Lexy leans in again, and this time, with her hands free, Vanessa does shove her back.

“I’m going to say this once, and then you’re going to get out of my house,” Vanessa says, her voice low and dangerous. “I love Charity. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love her. I love the life we’ve built together and I love her children. Yes, you and me and stuff in common. But you have no idea about Charity or about our relationship. She’s the most incredible, strong, wonderful person I’ve ever been with.” She hugs angrily. “I thought we were friends! I trusted you!” She feels her voice crack a little, and sees the dawning horror on Lexy’s face.

“Ness,” she says, but Vanessa cuts her off.

“You don’t get to call me that anymore. You don’t get to come in here and disrespect my relationship and my family and call me that. Now leave, please.”

“Vanessa,” Lexy tries again, “I’m so-”

“Get out!” 

Lexy covers her mouth and Vanessa realises she’s crying, but she just turns to the window until she hears the front door slam.

She’s shaking. She feels the guilt wash over her, and for a moment she thinks she might be sick. Charity knew. She has been able to see it on Lexy’s face and Vanessa hadn’t believed her. And she’s also devastated. She really liked Lexy as a friend. She was funny and cool and they had a lot of stuff in common. 

“Hiya,” a voice says behind her, and Vanessa whips around, trying to compose her face.

“Hi Noah! I thought you were going to football tonight?”

He shakes his head. “Pitch is flooded again.” He gives her an odd look, and then he goes over and gives her a stiff hug. 

She’s so shocked she doesn’t respond until it’s almost over. “What was that for?” she asks, her voice choked. For a second she panics about whether he could have seen or heard what happened with Lexy.

He doesn’t say anything for a moment and then blushes and mutters “happy first day back,” and vanishes up the stairs at top speed.

The dark, angry thoughts in her head recede, and she says against the counter. This is what matters. Her family.

*** 

She intends to stay up and wait for Charity, but she’s on until close now with Chas and Paddy still waiting in A and E, and Vanessa falls asleep on her book, only half waking up when Charity slips into bed and turns off the light, tugging her close and pressing a kiss to her head.

The next morning, after she’s had a shower, Vanessa bites her lip and looks at Charity who has become very good at sleeping through Vanessa’s morning routine.

She _knows_ Charity is going to freak out about this. There’s been little need on either side to be jealous, but Vanessa worries that Charity will think she’s encouraged Lexy in some way.

She delicately sits at the edge of the bed and traces the side of Charity’s face with her fingers. 

Charity stirs sleepily and blinks at her. “Morning,” she mumbles. “You off?”

Vanessa nods, heart thumping in her chest.

“Sorry ‘bout last night,” Charity yawns. “I’ll make it up to you, yeah?”

Vanessa shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter.” She trails her finger up into Charity’s messy bun, scratching her scalp, and Charity’s eyes flutter shut in pleasure. “Look, I don’t want you to make a big deal out of this, but something happened yesterday I wanted to tell you about before I go.”

“Telling me it’s not a big deal usually means it is,” Charity sighs, eyes still closed.

“Lexy came by yesterday,” Vanessa says quickly, stumbling over the words. “And she…she kind of hit on me. So I told her where to go, obviously.”

Charity cracks open an eye, and then to Vanessa’s surprise, smirks. “Told you she had a thing for you.”

Relieved, Vanessa smiles. She’s built this up in her head but it’s actually not that big a deal. “You did. You’re very clever.”

Charity pulls her close and kisses her. “And don’t you forget it.”

*** 

When Vanessa comes home that day, she’s happy but tired. Her easy ride is over and she’s been out at various farms all day. She’s exhausted.

The “ _I’m home_ ” dies in her throat when she’s slammed back against the front door and Charity’s lips press hard against hers.

They kiss for several minutes, Vanessa scrambling to keep up, chasing Charity’s hot, eager mouth. 

They haven’t kissed like this in months. In the aftermath of the trial, when it became too much, Charity would sometimes take her like this. Desperately, like Vanessa was her oxygen, or her lifeboat, keeping her afloat. 

But they’ve got past that, and it’s slowly been getting easier. Or at least that’s what Vanessa thought.

“Charity,” she gasps, as Charity bites and sucks on her necks, undoubtedly leaving a mark. “What…are you ok?”

Charity pulls back, and Vanessa realises the minute she sees her face that this is about this morning. About Lexy. About showing Vanessa that she’s Charity’s, and reassuring Charity that Vanessa is hers.

For a moment neither of them move, and Vanessa sees something dark and hurt move across Charity’s face, and so Vanessa tugs her back, kissing her with abandon, melting into the sigh of relief that Charity lets out.

Charity takes back control with ease and Vanessa surrenders it eagerly. She knows Charity needs this, realises she might need this too. 

Charity shoves her coat off, pulls her jumper over her head, shoves up her skirt and tugs her tights down. Vanessa can only gasp and sigh and clutch at her as Charity works her body, with her mouth and her fingers and the way she presses herself into Vanessa, when she has her half naked and slips her hand up under Vanessa’s skirt and into her knickers.

“Vanessa,” Charity whispers in her ear, even as she begins to slowly finger her clit. Vanessa can tell she’s so wet already. “Vanessa, your phone’s ringing.”

“Fuck,” Vanessa sighs, grinding herself into the delicious friction between her legs. “It might be Tracy, she’s picking up Johnny, oh _god_ , Charity!” 

Charity smirks wickedly but withdraws her finger again and pulls out, bringing her hand up to her mouth and licking Vanessa’s wetness. “Well you’d better check it then.” 

Legs shaking, Vanessa leans down and picks up her phone. And freezes. 

Charity sees the look on her face and grabs it from her, face going carefully blank as she sees the caller ID. “Answer it,” she says.

“Charity…” Vanessa says pleadingly. “I have nothing to say to her-”

“Answer it,” Charity repeats, falling to her knees and pushing Vanessa’s thighs apart. “Answer it or I stop.”

Vanessa sees in her eyes that she means it. That this is an test of sorts. It’s a terrible idea. But it’s what Charity needs, and Vanessa can hardly think she’s so turned on, so she keeps eye contact with Charity as she slides to accept and says “Hello?”

“ _Oh thank god you picked up_ ,” Lexy says in her ear. “ _I’ve been trying to work up the courage to call you and I was worried you just wouldn’t answer_.”

Vanessa bites her lip as Charity places her mouth over her and begins making out with her centre. She barely manages a grunt in response to Lexy, her free hand clutching the frame of the door to keep herself upright.

“ _I am so, so sorry about yesterday. I was completely out of line and I misread things completely, and I really hope you can forgive me_.”

Charity slips the tip of her tongue inside Vanessa, who bites her lip so hard she can taste blood in an effort not to make a sound. 

“ _The stuff I said about Charity, it’s not really my business and I still think you deserve better, but that’s obviously your decision, and-”_

Lexy’s words penetrate the fog of arousal and Vanessa’s eyes snap open. 

“Stop,” she says firmly. Simultaneously, Lexy stops talking and Charity pulls away from between her legs, looking up at her with hesitant expression.

“Maybe I didn’t make myself clear yesterday. Your opinion on my relationship with the woman I love is not welcome.” She reaches down and touches Charity’s face, savouring the way her eyes go wide and she leans into Vanessa’s touch. “Charity is one of the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” she says, looking straight at Charity while she says it. “And I love her.”

For a moment there’s silence, and Charity looks at her with wet eyes, before she slowly moves forward and kisses the inside of Vanessa’s thighs again. Vanessa can’t help it; her legs part and Charity smiles up at her and begins to fuck her again in earnest.

Vanessa is vaguely aware of Lexy speaking on the other end of the phone, but she’s lost in what Charity is doing to her. When she starts sucking her clit, the phone drops out of her hand and she cries out. “Charity, please Charity, I can’t, I can’t stand, oh god please…” She’s babbling and scrabbling with both hands to keep her shaking legs upright, and she feels like she might cry when Charity pulls out from between her legs again.

“I’m sorry, Vanessa is otherwise engaged right now,” Charity says politely into the phone she’s just picked up. “Please don’t call back.”

And then she gets up and grasps Vanessa around the middle and pushes her firmly into the door, while slipping her other hand back between her legs. 

Vanessa sags into her, frantically rocking herself against Charity’s fingers. 

“Yes,” she hisses. “Yes, please, make me, make me come.”

“Mine,” Charity growls against her skin, nipping at her and sucking and kissing her neck and shoulders. “Mine, you’re mine.”

“ _Yes!”_ Vanessa agrees. “Just yours, please Charity, I’m yours, I’m yours.”

“Show me,” Charity pants in her ear, working her clit fast and hard. “Show me you’re mine.”

Vanessa keens and comes with an almost-silent wail, collapsing as the pleasure hits her like a wave, the only thing keeping her upright being Charity’s arms. 

They sink to the floor, Charity still holding her as she trembles.

“I’m sorry,” Charity mumbles, sounding slightly embarrassed. “I’m sorry I made you-”

Vanessa places her finger over Charity’s mouth. “You didn’t. If I hadn’t wanted to I would have said no.”

Charity nods but doesn’t make eye contact.

“Want to talk about where that came from?” Vanessa asks softly, rubbing Charity’s back. 

For a moment, Charity is silent. Then she sighs. “Noah spoke to me earlier. He heard you and her yesterday.”

Vanessa feels something cold form in her chest. “I didn’t realise he was there. Is he…is he angry with me?”

Charity looks at with wide eyes. “Angry with you,” she repeats. “No babe, he’s not angry with you.” She bites her lip. “He was sticking up for you. He told me what she said. About you guys having more in common. And how you stuck up for me and how you said me and the boys were your…”

“My family,” Vanessa says thickly. “Our family.”

Charity gives her a soft look and leans forward, and Vanessa wraps her arms around and kisses her languidly, trying to say all the things bubbling inside her. 

*** 

Later, after they’ve picked up their scattered clothes, and had a long, hot shower together, they’re curled up on the sofa in their pjs, Charity’s feet up in Vanessa’s lap as she rubs them gently.

“God, you’re good at that.” Charity melts into the sofa.

“I can’t help but think that you’re enjoying this more than what I did to you in the shower earlier,” Vanessa says in amusement. 

Charity groans as Vanessa hits her instep. “I wouldn’t say more. But it’s pretty close.”

Before Vanessa can make the joke on the tip of her tongue about a foot fetish, the front door opens and Noah walks in. His eyes sweep over the two of them, and his shoulders seem to relax.

“Hi,” he mumbles shyly. 

Vanessa can tell that he’s embarrassed, having told Charity about yesterday. He looks over them, his eyes questioning, clearly checking to see if they’re ok. If their family is ok.

Vanessa removes Charity’s feet from her lap, ignoring her protests, and gets up and walks up to Noah and wraps her arms around him.

“Thank you for what you said to your mum,” she whispers in his ear, and even without seeing his face she knows what expression he’ll have; that embarrassed but pleased look that Charity sometimes wears when she does something romantic and Vanessa melts. 

“S’ok,” he replies, patting her back gingerly. 

Vanessa blinks back tears but it’s too late; Charity’s seen them. 

“Now look what you’ve done,” she dramatically accuses Noah. “Now she’s going to be soppy all evening and insist on cooking something _‘from scratch’_ and us all sitting at the table.”

Noah sighs, equally dramatic. “Well, you’re the one who was giving her that loved up look when I came in so it’s equally your fault.”

Vanessa laughs wetly, and they both grin up at her. “We can order a pizza if you want.” 

“Pepperoni,” Noah says immediately. “And no ham and pineapple.”

“I second that, babe,” Charity smiles, and Vanessa pretends to huff. 

“I feel ganged up on.” 

And it’s never felt so good.

*** 

Epilogue 

Vanessa flinches as Charity throws open the curtains. 

“What are you doing?” she whines. “It’s a kids-free Saturday! Come back to bed!”

Charity responds by pulling the covers off her. “Come on, get up!”

Vanessa pouts. “Why?” She stretches and uses that to push her breasts out, smirking at the way that Charity’s eyes are glued to her chest. “It’s warm in bed. Come and find out?”

Charity hesitates for a second and then shakes her head and pulls at her arms. “Come on Ness, we’re on a schedule.”

“What schedule?”

Charity doesn’t reply and leaves the room.

Grumpy and hair still damp, Vanessa trudges downstairs half an hour later. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”

Charity shakes her head. “Nope. Now get in the car.” She hands Vanessa a travel mug and Vanessa feels her bad mood mellow a little as she tastes the tea brewed just the way she likes it.

Charity pulls out of Emmerdale and glances at her, amused. “You’re cute when your mind is racing.”

“Why won’t you just tell me where we’re going?” Vanessa whines.

“Because I’m trying to surprise you, you daft mare.” Charity chuckles. “But if you’re so curious, why don’t you put on the outfit I got you. It’s under your seat.”

Vanessa reaches below the passenger seat and pulls out a parcel. She reaches in and pulls out a T-shirt. “ _Gay? I’m ecstatic!”_ she reads the slogan. “What….”

Charity reaches down under her own seat and pulls out a small rainbow flag, which she waves. “Happy pride!”

Vanessa’s mouth drops open. “We’re going to Pride? But I thought you said-”

“I know what I said,” Charity mutters, clearly embarrassed.

They’d been in the coffee shop with Tracy, who had tried to convince them all to go to Hotten Pride together. 

But Charity had declared it lame and said “ _It’s all hen parties and people who want to seem cool for a day and then ignore that stuff the rest of the year_.” And Vanessa wasn’t too bothered; she was getting her rainbow kicks from her role as Equality Rep anyway.

“So what changes?” Vanessa grins, tugging the T-shirt over her head. “Did you just fancy a day in Hotten?”

“Hotten?” Charity wrinkles her nose in disgust. “Babe, we’re doing this properly or not at all.”

“What does that mean?” Vanessa quirks her eyebrow.

Charity reaches down again and pulls out a flyer. 

“Manchester?” Vanessa gasps at her. “That’s like two hours drive!”

“Hence the early start.”

Vanessa grins. “You planned this! Put proper thought into it and all. You big softie.”

“Oh give over.” Vanessa can see that Charity is colouring slightly. 

Vanessa smiles and puts her hand on Charity’s thigh. “Thank you. But we don’t have to do this. I know it’s not really your thing.”

Charity shakes her head. “I was thinking about it and I realised that I was wrong.”

“How’s that?” Vanessa asks softly. Charity has that face on, the one where she’s about to say something that’s going to make Vanessa melt inside.

“Pride is supposed to be about celebrating who you are. And I guess for the first time in ages I _am_ proud of who I am. And who I’m with.”

Vanessa quickly wipes her cheeks but Charity sees her anyway and roles her eyes affectionately. 

“Whose the big softie now?” Charity pats her knee. “Besides, it’s important to you. Putting in all that time getting me and Moses and Noah on the insurance and all.” She swallows visibly. “Fighting for us.”

“Always.” Vanessa swallows around the lump in her throat. “But if you really want to say thank you, you could put your glasses on for me.” She wiggles her eyebrows. 

Charity laughs and gives her a wink. “With pride.”


End file.
